Looking Back For A While

As I wrote this, I was listening to a song I made with my friends for my batch, Platinum.

It was a hymn dedicated to our graduation. I wrote the lyrics in the middle of the night, with absolutely no idea where the inspiration came from. Alif helped me with the diction, making it sound perfect. Rofif arranged the melody, with some help from me. It took us three days to record it and a week to edit it. We wanted it to sound perfect. Aldo came up with the idea of making a music video, making us the first batch to make a music video.

I wanted to share this with you since I thought it didn't sound that bad. IT was a symbol of all the struggles, tears, and laughter us as the 24th batch had gone through these past three years.

Here, enjoy it!

-Abigail Gee

Goodbyes

I can't believe it's been three years. I have just finished my studies at SMA Taruna Nusantara and I am officially saying goodbye to senior high school life! I admit I had some of the most memorable moments these three years that I would never trade for anything else in the world.

I still remember the times when I said goodbye to seniors who were leaving the campus to pursue their future careers and studies, and I can't believe my passing out was a few months already.

I, thankfully, have been accepted in my dream university and I am very excited in the process of being a college freshman; the perks of looking for a room to rent, the clothes, the new friends, the new subjects, the new books, and everything. I am on my way to live completely and literally on my own.

My friends are, too, reaching out their dreams. Some of them have been accepted in universities, some of them will attend academies, and so on.

Well, I was hoping to still be in touch with them. I mean, I would never forget good things good friends had done for me. They have been my biggest strength to carry on and finish this whole journey. I am truly grateful for being blessed with such amazing companies and also great opportunities to explore myself even more.

Looking back to the past three years, I realized that I have changed at certain points. I learned that all my ups and downs, dramas, and mistakes have shaped me up to the person I am now. I regret some of my actions and decisions and I would love to at least redeem them if not change them, but then again I would not trade any of those times for the world.

By leaving the campus, I left all my trust and legacy to my juniors. I have been blessed with so many kind juniors that I now dearly call my sisters and brothers. They have been supporting me and very respectful although I really don't deserve them as my company. They deserve a better sister and exemplar, yet they stayed till the end with me.

And by leaving the campus, I left my heart as well. I admit that some good and sincere feelings have grown on that land, those I will cherish my whole life as a nice memory inside. I have found great people I then admired and adored by hearts. I also learned that with all my flaws and imperfections, I have still been blessed with people who love me despite who I am.

But then again, by leaving the campus, I have to say goodbye to some of my friends as well. I knew that by leaving TN, that would mean communication being less intense, meet-ups being less frequent, and they would lead to drifting apart. And the bitter part of it is that I am afraid that will happen soon enough. I am talking to my school friends a lot less. But I wish it wouldn't mean we're not friends anymore.

And now, some of my friends are leaving for the academies and I wish them all the best. I really do hope that one day when we all meet again, we all will be successful in our own ways and terms, we will cheer on blessings life has given us and we all will smile together on top!

Thank you for every second worth living these past three years. I love you, Tarnus. I love you even more, PLATINUM!

Apology

Hi, everyone!

Due to mistakes and my unwise actions, I decided not to write for some time.

I have hurt feelings that I've been treasuring much, friendships that I've carefully been trying to take care of, and I've also killed the trust of many's.

I am sorry.

I have been a fool who never really thinks twice about her actions. I have been selfish and thinking that the universe circled around her. I have forgotten the fact that I'd be nothing without them.

I love my friends and my previous post (which I have deleted) had been wrongly written that it had cost me so much. It had cost me my friendships.

If both of you are reading this, I truly apologize. I care about you, but it took me a while to realize that true friends come in so many forms. I have just been too blind to see and I just had my first baby steps in taking everything.

I love you both, and you faithful readers.

-Abigail Gee

It's OK.

I never said things right, didn't I?

I always did the wrong things, make the wrong decisions, and I couldn't maintain friendships.

Why everyone misunderstood, I don't know. I just don't.

I had the perfect friendship, until yesterday.

But that's ok, that's perfectly fine.


I'm used to being left anyway.

TN!

Hi everybody,

This was supposed to be posted two years ago by the younger version of Abigail Gee.

But as a little girl pursuing a lot of stars, though in the end she couldn't reach them all, she tended to forget things. She neglected things she shouldn't have and she was always this careless girl, although she knew she had a lot to say to someone and she didn't have the courage to and she should've written things here--which was the very first purpose of why she made this blog.

It wasn't meant to be read by people; it was meant to be read by herself, the older version.

So here it is.

The note from a 15-year-old Abigail Gee.

---

Dear Beautifuls,

I've been attending a boarding school for 6 months--which is the reason why I haven't been writing or posting something. My new school is located in Magelang, Central Java, Indonesia.

This school is a semi-military school, so they apply military rules and lifestyles which are still suitable for teenagers like us.

This school is claimed to be the best school in Indonesia. Not to brag, but I really am proud of being a student of my campus.

I met a lot of awesome people from all over Indonesia, who have also been through a lot of tests just to be a student there. They are so friendly and unique and asdfghjkl I can't describe them all because I'm just so excited about it!

I was put in the room with eight other girls. We all love to share things about our own hometowns.

After a lot of complicated and tiring placement tests, the school board put me in a class with 31 others. Most of them are from Jakarta. They are just so nice. We instantly became best friends after the introduction.

I love being there, although the orientation period is pretty long;3 months. Can you imagine me, a gadgetholic girl, being isolated on campus with the same people every day for three months?! But I could deal with it because it's been my dream to attend this school since I was just a little girl. I know it sounds cliche but that's the truth!

I could say that I am having the very best moments of my life!

I will tell you a lot of other things later!

Love,

-Abigail Gee