Monday, September 21, 2015

It's OK.

I never said things right, didn't I?

I always did the wrong things, make the wrong decisions, and I couldn't maintain friendships.

Why everyone misunderstood, I don't know. I just don't.

I had the perfect friendship, until yesterday.

But that's ok, that's perfectly fine.


I'm used to being left anyway.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

TN!

Hi everybody,

This was supposed to be posted two years ago by the younger version of Abigail Gee.

But as a little girl pursuing a lot of stars, though in the end she couldn't reach them all, she tended to forget things. She neglected things she shouldn't have and she was always this careless girl, although she knew she had a lot to say to someone and she didn't have the courage to and she should've written things here--which was the very first purpose of why she made this blog.

It wasn't meant to be read by people; it was meant to be read by herself, the older version.

So here it is.

The note from a 15-year-old Abigail Gee.

---

Dear Beautifuls,

I've been in a boarding school for 6 months--which is the reason why I haven't been writing or posting something. My new school is located in Magelang, Central Java, Indonesia.

This school is a semi-military school, so they apply military rules and lifestyle which are still suitable with teenagers like us.

This school is claimed to be the best school in Indonesia. Not to brag, but I really am proud of being a student of my campus.

I met a lot of awesome people from all over Indonesia, who have also been through a lot of tests just to be a student there. They are so friendly and unique and asdfghjkl I can't describe them all because I'm just so excited about it!

I was put in the room number 5 with eight other girls.  They are from Semarang, Jakarta, Jogjakarta, Pacitan, Nganjuk, Makassar, and Pontianak. We all love to share things about our own hometowns.

After a lot of complicated and tiring placement tests, the school board put me in the class X-7 with 31 others. Most of them are from Jakarta. They are just so nice. We instantly became best friends after the introduction.

I love being there, although the orientation period is pretty long;3 months. Can you imagine me, a gadgetholic girl, being isolated in a campus with the same people everyday for three months?! But I could deal with it because it's been my dream to attend this school since I was just a little girl. I know it sounds cliche but that's the truth!

Here is a picture from Bukadik (Opening Ceremony)


I could say that I am having the very best moments in my life!

I will tell you a lot of other things later!

Love,

-Abigail Gee

Words to a Young Man

there was a young man in spirits
not even scared in bits
but then time let him down
and so he fell to the ground

he never got up anymore
nor put his head up a little more
he now pushes away pretty things he sees
let alone to believe in me

but he never looks so sad
cause he has got a mask
to cover up his tears
to cover up his fears

he is my friend, a very true friend
but he thinks it soon is gonna end
I won't ask him to let me stay
but surely enough I won't walk away

he never looks back because he's still in the past
he always will, he always has
but there's something I wish he knew
I would always keep an eye on you

yes, you, the young man in spirits
who travelled far on mind, but has a lot of doubt mists
who has a big heart for every one, but not for one
to be a shelter, but not to enter

you can stop being my friend, of course,
but I will never stop being yours
though I know you won't give a fuck
I'm still sorry, as a friend, I suck

and I should tell you this very last time
you're so important that you made me rhyme


for a dear friend,

-Abigail Gee

Senior Year!

As I am writing this, I'm on my study desk and looking through the window. It gives one of the most beautiful sceneries in school, because I can see acres of cornfields and big trees. Sometimes white birds appear out of nowhere.

The dormitory is so peaceful when no one is screaming around calling each other's name. In the afternoon, you can see the skies are full of colors.

And I'm currently listening to Stars's Dead Hearts. Yeah, I just saw Like Crazy.

I am now officially a 12th grader. It feels weird to be someone who replies salutes instead of giving one.

But I guess it might be fun, as I could see joy and relief on everybody's faces.

I might not be forgiven for leaving and abandoning this place for months. But then I finally realized that there're too many things that I can't keep for myself and I need to tell, it's just I can't find anyone who will hear my stories eagerly.

The beauty of writing still fascinates me after these whole years, but it took me a while to notice that writing will always be my favorite companion.

There are too many exciting events awaiting for me this year. I will have my national examinations soon, graduation ceremony, and then I am leaving for my college years. It always makes me feel so ecstatic to think about arranging my own room the way I want it to, signing up for as many colleges as you can apply to, and the nervous feeling you feel when you wait for your acceptance letter to come.

This world is indeed a mysterious place youth must explore and wander.

I don't know, I just feel like writing all these words, even though they don't make any sense or connected.

Maybe it's just that I have so many thoughts on mind and I have been wondering how I am supposed to blurt out every single one of them.

I hope you don't mind.

And I hope you'll have the best term ahead.

Sending the senior year love and excitement,

-Abigail Gee